WHITNASH TOWN 12 FOLLY LANE 1: match report by The MOWDOG...

Whitnash Exploit Visitors’ Folly

Whitnash Town 12 Folly Lane 1

I hope the names of players below are correct. I photographed the teamsheets and I trust that they remained true to the actuality, so my sincere apologies for any discrepancies…

The presence of acquaintances from Southam United, a pre-game rain-shower and 13 goals made this evening in Whitnash one to remember. Visiting ‘keeper James Wardle actually made a number of saves and his errors were few but his defenders were unable to prevent a rampant Town from battering home a dozen goals, half of which were scored by players called Cole. The referee was late arriving, which annoyed the Whitnash coach, before tottering onto the field, procrastinating, leaving the field again and not starting the match until 6.40pm. Folly Lane were missing a few regulars I believe but to be totally demolished in this fashion seemed unusual. The hosts passed the ball whenever possible, being urged by their coach to pass and move, which was so refreshing, after a season of hearing coaches bellowing at their players to clear the ball, or get it forward quickly, comments of course liberally scattered with the ‘f’ word, which of course f…..’ goes without saying…

Home goalie Neil Stacey collected a skidding Folly free-kick, a result of the shower of spring rain, before the hosts were awarded a free-kick at inside-right, which right-back Martin Hutchcox was going to take but instead deferred to the cultured left foot of left-back Craig Watkin, who would impress throughout the contest. The flight was excellent, Josh Cole rose above his marker Lee Graham and headed the ball down past Wardle and into the bottom right corner of the net. Simple. Soon, Wardle dawdled to fly-kick the ball away and slapped it instead against striker Luke Cole’s back, then the custodian turned, horrified as the ricochet flew goalwards but just over the crossbar.

Josh Cole (6) has opened the scoring...

Mike Ellis nodded a Hutchcox cross down and wide of the right post, before the quietly efficient, unhurried and effective midfielder Paul Wilkinson clipped an effort at goal from 23 yards, which Wardle flapped over his goal-frame for a left-wing corner, from which Whitnash added to their tally. Josh Cole left Graham again at the far post, rose like a snake from a basket and headed down into the left corner of the net from almost in front of Wardle, who whirled his arms like demented windmill sails. A fine drive by Luke Cole rose just past the left angle of bar and upright from 25 yards, before Town added a third goal.

2-0: Josh Cole again...

The score was chaotic in its creation but a low ball flew across from the right, Luke Cole was denied in front of goal and there was Ryan Harris to perform a tricky manoeuvre: a one-two off the left post to confuse the already bamboozled Folly defenders and he calmly passed the ball into the net. I nearly videoed that one. Good possession by Town led to the ball drifting left and then back inside to the ‘lurking midfielder’, which describes Josh Cole perfectly. In space, he strode forward and smacked a fine 28 yarder, which clipped the top of the crossbar, with Wardle gaping in awe.

The fourth and fifth goals were superbly struck by Watkin, both worth travelling some distance to see. First, he fastened onto Luke Cole’s right-boot-flick at inside-right and simply hammered the ball first-time, left-footed, into the bottom right corner of the net from around 25 yards. Watkin’s 30 yard free-kick nudged off a defender and bounced and Wardle had to bat it away like it was an attacking wasp, to concede another corner; Luke Cole headed well wide and the visitors then actually threatened, with Jack Teggin firing a hard, low drive, which Stacey saved really well with one hand, before he punched clear from the second phase of attack. And then Watkin took over again; Wilkinson’s neat pass to Ryan Billington saw a shot from inside-right strike the back of beleaguered tall Folly defender Teggin, Luke Cole won a header but visiting defender Brett Davies’ left-foot clearance rolled poorly to Harris, who laid the ball into the path of his left-back and Watkin again struck it first time, from around 30 yards and again the ball arrowed into the bottom right corner of the net. Testament to the surface: two first-time strikes and two unerring finishes.

Watkin, left of the trio has made it 4-0...

Watkin again, second left, has scored a second with his left: 5-0...

Dainty passing by the guests just inside the Town penalty-box led to only striker Lee (Chico?) Sheehy wanting to shoot; he did, but horribly wide of the left upright. Wilkinson then punished some dreadful Folly marking and broke at inside-right, veered wide past the advancing and helpless Wardle but chose to set up Luke Cole, whose shot was well saved by the ‘keeper’s butt, it seemed, but Billington rolled a second pass across the goalmouth for Luke Cole to back-heel a cheeky 6^th goal for his team. The 7^th goal, before the break, stemmed from a fine centre by Billington from the right flank and Lee Scott leapt, outjumped the desperate Davies and lobbed his header over Wardle, who had made a dash from goal, only too late, like the referee had been earlier, and the ball bounced tamely into the net.

Ellis (7) tells Luke Cole he should have scored with his first shot, instead of show-boating with a back-heel...
6-0...

Scott, centre has headed Whitnash into a 7-0 lead...

7-0 and what kind of interval team-talk could the Folly Lane coach give? There were simply smiles on the Whitnash side of the field and Josh Cole was withdrawn, allowing Henry Leaver to feature and he was to enjoy his role during the second period. An early Watkin corner was headed high and wide by Luke Cole, who then benefited from a Watkin pass but saw his low 22 yarder saved by the sprawling Wardle. And then it became 8-0. Poor, slack defending, just what the Folly coach had surely demanded should not happen again, did happen again and the ball was swung across from the left by Harris, Luke Cole was marked by Graham but neither could get a meaningful touch and there was Billington at the far stick to fire first-time, left-footed into the net from 10 yards out.

Billington, centre, smiles: 8-0...

Folly’s Davies and Liam Rock had been replaced by Stuart Fraser and Andy Sharman, whilst Billington and Harris were substituted by John Blunsom and James Urquhart for Town. Blunsom headed a Watkin corner at the far post but a deflection took it wide and from that flag-kick, visiting skipper Wardle was well positioned to collect home skipper Andy McKinley’s header. Rhys Deehan swiped a right boot at a Watkin free-kick and looped the ball dangerously and only just over his own crossbar, then, amazingly, Folly Lane broke on the left-side and from nothing a Fraser free-kick flew into the middle, where Deehan headed across goal and the eager, never-say-die Sheehy ran in to lean and head the ball between Stacey’s legs. Nutmegged on his goal-line, but where was the marking? He made his feelings plain…

Shall we try Plan X?

It worked! Sheehy has scored!
8-1...

It mattered not, for Folly flopped in defence again and Luke Cole picked up the loose ball, cut inside from inside-left and rattled a low 16 yarder off the goalie’s right boot and into the left corner of the net. Luke Cole was then dragged back by Teggin, who was having an evening to forget but neither the unpopular referee, nor the linesman, who should have seen the foul, gave a penalty, yet soon it was 10-1 anyway, when Blunsom passed across the penalty-box from the left and Wilkinson side-footed the ball off a defender, wrong-footing Wardle, who fell in a heap on his goal-line, as the ball squirmed from his grasp.

Luke Cole again: 9-1...

Wilkinson: 10-1...

Wardle made a save with his swinging foot, then was forced to apologise for comments made to a linesman, with most spectators, dogs and friends of players thinking he’d been dismissed. Hutchcox won a corner, Leaver took it on the left and Luke Cole’s header bounced over the goal-line before Wardle or right-back Louis Beldon could keep it out. A hat-trick for the striker then. Hutchcox set up Ellis for a shot, which Wardle fell left to save, a fine right-wing run and cross by Urquhart saw Blunsom’s header flash across the goalmouth and deflect off a defender for a right-wing corner, then a deep free-kick from the left by the threatening Watkin was headed by the unmarked Luke Cole but wide of the target from a good position. Luke Cole then headed a Watkin delivery downwards but the ball bounced up and over the crossbar, before Blunsom’s header across goal was volleyed clear by the harassed Wardle but straight to Watkin, whose volley from 25 yards sliced well off target.

Luke Cole calls for his fiddlers three...
11-1...

Leaver’s left-wing corner was actually and kindly headed clear for the opponents by Luke Cole, and Ellis sliced his attempt at goal, but then Luke Cole’s left-wing corner was headed powerfully wide at the near post by the leaping Urquhart, who had got in front of Watkin, who was no doubt seeking his hat-trick goal. A quick free-kick on the right led to an angled drive into the side-netting by Watkin then Sheehy, on a rare Folly break, poked a shot wide of the right upright. A wild punt by Daniel Pidgeon for Folly disturbed the pigeons in a tree beyond the goal-frame then Scott set off on a fine run, exchanged passes with the patient Luke Cole but sadly dragged his 18 yard shot past the far, right upright. A Blunsom drive deflected off Beldon for a corner and Leaver’s corner was cleared to Watkin, whose bruising left-foot drive was blocked by a poor soul in defence, only for Urquhart to leap into the air like a fighting cock and fire an overhead shot just too high.

What is the Folly defender thinking?
Answers on a postcard to the referee, who will be very late getting back to you...

Finally as the game, fortunately for Folly, came to an end, Luke Cole was fouled from behind again, this time by the flailing Deehan’s long legs but with the definite penalty denied, the ball rolled right to Urquhart, who passed the ball back across goal from the right for Cole to turn home from a few yards. 12-1, the final whistle blew, some disgruntlement was apparent and some words were exchanged between a Whitnash fan and Teggin, but we all left the scene in pleasant weather and I went home for tea, wondering how long it would take to upload so many goal-clips. It’s what I do…

Luke Cole tries to find a fourth finger to hold up...
12-1...

Teams:

Whitnash:  Neil Stacey, Martin Hutchcox, Craig Watkin; Lee Scott, Andy McKinley (Capt), Josh Cole; Mike Ellis, Paul Wilkinson, Luke Cole, Ryan Billington, Ryan Harris.

Subs: John Blunsom, Henry Leaver, James Urquhart.

Folly Lane:  James Wardle (Capt), Louis Beldon, Sean Gaffney; Jack Teggin, Brett Davies, Lee Graham; Jayden Rickhuss, Rhys Deehan, Lee Sheehy, Daniel Pidgeon, Liam Rock.

Subs: Stuart Fraser, Andy Sharman, David Mann.

Folly Lane skipper Wardle will have many, many better days...