GRANDSTAND, RUGBY LEAGUE & FALLING OVER CHAIRS...

Aye Aye, Up & Under…

‘Grandstand’:

Eddie Waring’s grinding commentary…

“HULLAKINGSTONNNAROVERS! WIGANNN, 

BILLY BOSTONNN! AYE AYE, OOOP & UNDAH! TRYYY!”

Riveting in black and white, Rugby League;

Baffling black and mud, sheer fatigue;

Surface soft, sodden, cloying, miserable,

Viewing essential, buoying, unmissable

And after Warrington lost to Wakefield Trinity,

The game continued in my house with some ferocity…

Grandstand:

My blundering, ten year old commentary…

“Batley, Keighley, Wigan!

Eric Ashton: it’s an up and under! Try!”

Rushing at armchairs and the sofa,

Stumbling at arm-rests, tumbling over;

Carpet hard, unyielding, rough, disagreeable,

Diving irresistible, tough, unavoidable

And after scoring against Wakefield Trinity,

The cat skedaddled from the room and my vicinity…

Pete Ray

January 2016

When mum was cleaning, or at the local shops, I would roll some football socks into a ball and run across the lounge, intentionally falling over the three-piece suite’s arm-rests, bruising my thighs but learning to tumble without hurting myself. It was no real surprise that I became a wicketkeeper, a 5-a-side soccer goalie and a full-back in the school’s rugby team… 

Eddie Waring’s commentaries and the mud-baths of Rugby League games on BBC TV’s ‘Grandstand’ were things I grew up on, before being able to go and watch soccer on my own…