CARLTON TOWN 4-1 COALVILLE TOWN: LIGHT-HEARTED REPORT BY THE MOWDOG...

Clinical Millers Punish Offensive Ravens

Carlton Town 4-1 Coalville Town

This often feisty encounter was won by the team which accepted the chances offered to them, whereas despite a territorial advantage and a good deal of possession, visitors Coalville were denied by a combination of a goal-line clearance, an upright and saves by the impressive Jack Steggles in the Carlton goal. Other chances were squandered off target too but at the end of the game, home replacement Curtis Millward (18) missed twice and the scoreline really could have looked quite farcical. A rumbling feud between home striker Kevin Lusamba and smiling Raven defender Danny Jenno offered an edge to the proceedings, Callum Woodward’s combative style for the guests caused a few eyebrows to raise and the final five minutes or so were interrupted several times by home substitutions, which served to irritate Coalville’s staff, especially as the hosts were coasting 4-1 ahead at the time. The referee was also rather castigated by Raven officials, after awarding an unusual penalty for a high boot by Jared Holmes, which Daniel Gordon tucked away to hand Carlton a 2-1 interval lead. 

MATT COTON LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE IN FRONT OF A THREATENING FLAG...

A deflected strike and a well executed volley completed the scoring for the Millers, as Carlton fan Dennis the Drummer persisted, standing at his little wooden table with his little toy drum, making an interminable noise throughout the game, complete with irritating chanting but offering the kind of support one could only admire and appreciate. Funny too…

"DANNY JENNO IS A NICE BLOKE, YOU TWO, JUST TELL HIM YOU LIKE HIS LITTLE BEARD AND WE CAN ALL GET HOME SAFELY..."

This match was a pre-season workout and the Millers began it with some useful work by the wily Gordon, who supported Lusamba well and Dean Freeman, Joel Wolfe and Jenno needed to be committed and switched on in the Ravens’ rearguard. Coalville though conjured up the better offensive plays, with Holmes’ thoughtful passing and Brad Munn’s energy evident, as Alex Dean worked the right flank against Millers’ Daniel Fletcher, although to be fair, Lee Torr on the left-side was less involved, suggesting that the Ravens were favouring the right, perhaps. Home defender Lawrence Gorman did well to deflect a Massiah McDonald shot, following Alex Troke’s dummy, the latter also headed the ensuing corner too high and Jenno’s later header was caught by Steggles, but the final delivery for Coalville was often not accurate enough and although Brad Munn tested Steggles with a volley, defender Romain Graham cleared a dangerous centre and then the ‘keeper saved bravely at a stranded Freeman’s feet, the nearest the visitors came to scoring was when a reactive Jenno header from McDonald’s delivery was hacked from his goal-line by Gorman. And the drums rattled on… Annoyingly. 

FLETCHER HAS A McDONALD'S...

SCHOENECKER & GORMAN TRACK TORR...

TROKE: ON THE SCORESHEET...

IS THAT MR JENNO BEING SPOKEN TO?
SURELY NOT...

The Millers had found little scope in attack until a free-kick caused Coalville hesitation and Gordon battled past Jenno, then slipped a pass across the penalty-box for Lusamba to beat Wolfe to the ball and lift it into the top left corner of the net but his reaction, not of joy, instead to taunt Jenno was as crass as it was unimpressive. Almost at the break, a Woodward free-kick appeared to go past Steggles via the chest, not the head of Troke, whose physical presence was too much for the home defence on that occasion, although skipper Kieran Walker and sidekick Graham were generally very effective. The Ravens had parity then, but not for long. Immediately, Lusamba tested goalie Matt Coton, whose save sent the ball upwards towards the edge of the penalty-box, Gordon challenged, Holmes’ boots were high as he lunged at the dropping ball and the official signalled a spot-kick, which Gordon lashed low past Coton. The drumming increased in speed and I was reminded of a child’s wind-up tin soldier toy, whose key was constantly being twisted to make its arms thrash its drum and annoy a kid’s mum and dad…  

LUSAMBA HAS OPENED THE SCORING...

...& HE LOOKS, ER, DELIGHTED?

A busy end to the half then and obviously Coalville would use a number of replacements after the break, although Carlton were more frugal, maybe wanting the win more than benefit from the workout, for which one cannot blame them. Dennis broke for a mid-concert cuppa and the afternoon became warmer.  

TROKE HAS EQUALISED, JENNO GALLOPS LIKE A PANTOMIME HORSE...

1-1...

"LET'S KEEP IT TIGHT UNTIL HALF-TIME..."

SO HOLMES CONCEDES AN IMMEDIATE PENALTY...

2-1...

GORDON SHOULD HAVE CELEBRATED WITH HIS ICE HOCKEY STICK...

The Ravens looked neat in attack during the opening stages of the second period, with Karl Demidh’s pace and movement a worry for the Millers but in Nathan Watson, Coalville possessed an exciting creator, whose clever skills lit up moments during the second 45 minutes. Demidh struck the inside of the right upright, Steggles held Dean’s low drive, Holmes maybe ought to have found the target when Walker took his own ‘keeper out of the equation and the ball fell for Holmes to clip at goal from 20 yards. His effort missed the target though. Either side of this failure, Steggles got down to deny both Watson and Steve Towers at the foot of his right post with strong feet and Watson later slalomed into the penalty-area again but chose to shoot from inside-left with the outside of his right boot, sending the ball off target. It wasn’t to be for the guests and Carlton exploited the much-changed Ravens with a few breaks of their own. 

DENNIS THE RAVEN RUNS NEAR DENNIS THE DRUMMER...

WATSON (17): GREAT FEET...

Gordon volleyed wide from Lusamba’s flick, then following an offensive free-kick, hesitation by Dean and Coalville’s weak tackling allowed Carlton to counter-attack. After Lee Torr had challenged Gordon well to block a shot, his pass went astray and Josh Rae collected the ball 25 yards out but his drive deflected off a defender and looped over replacement goalie Sean Bowles. Dennis’ drumming increased in rhythm, like a bored Year 1 kid wielding a wooden spoon against a saucepan… Lively substitute Kyle Stovell lashed a great volley over Bowles from Rae’s flick to complete the scoring but assists by number 15 then number 12 offered Millward his two late chances, first heading wide then lifting a clear chance over the goal-frame, before the referee brought proceedings to a close. Dennis the Drummer, in ecstasy, rapped out his incessant beat still and I was tempted to confiscate his sticks and shove them somewhere. Suggestions on a postcard please, to… Rap was tea and biscuits music in comparison to Dithering Dennis and the Tableware Timpany…

MY NAMESAKE JOSH RAE (MINE'S RAY) HAS ADDED GOAL 3...

SEEMS PLEASED...

...BOWLSIE DOESN'T...

Anyhow, Carlton would be pleased by the result and much of their play, whereby left-back Fletcher allowed Dean little attacking scope on the Coalville right and Torr was often curbed by Millers’ right-back Gorman. Ravens’ Will Dennis made a few right-side sorties late on but the hosts coped, the tall central defenders worked well throughout and Rae was busy in midfield. Gordon and Lusamba looked a lively pair in attack and ‘keeper Steggles looked comfortable. Coalville had Watson, Jenno, Holmes, Munn and Freeman in some kind of form and Demidh will surely be a speedy option in attack this term. There appears to be competition for places in the Ravens outfit and that needs to be the case in a higher league but despite their positive lead-up play throughout, their finishing was not as clinical as the mugging Millers’ had been…

STOVELL'S VOLLEY HAS SEALED THE WIN...

I drove home comparing Dennis the Drummer’s percussion to the sound of the first record player my mum bought me, for the bass control was pathetic and the treble control easily took precedence. There was simply no beat… And to think that soldiers of England once followed their drums into battles and indeed, my grandfather enlisted as a drummer boy in the late 1800s. 

RAE WARNING...

DANNY JENNO: A STUDY OF A PAIN IN THE BUM...
WE LIKES HIM THOUGH.

KARL DEMIDH REALLY HASN'T BROKEN WIND...

I might just have deserted behind Dennis though…  

Teams:

CARLTON TOWN:

Jack Steggles, Lawrence Gorman, Daniel Fletcher, Jake Wholey, Kieran Walker (Capt), Romain Graham, Eddie Schoenecker, Niall Davie, Kevin Lusamba, Josh Rae, Daniel Gordon.

SUBS:

Antonio Wedderburn, Matt Newton, Jake Sawyer, Damon Charlton, Kyle Stovell, Jordan Knight, Curtis Millward.

COALVILLE TOWN:

Matt Coton, Alex Dean, Lee Torr, Danny Jenno (Capt), Joel Wolfe, Dean Freeman, Callum Woodward, Massiah McDonald, Alex Troke, Brad Munn, Jared Holmes.

SUBS:

Will Dennis, Cameron Powell, Steve Towers, Karl Demidh, Nathan Watson, Sean Bowles (gk).